You may have felt the effects of a bully at school, work or in a personal relationship.
You may wonder why the same patterns keep repeating years later.
The ‘attack’ from the perpetrator could take the form of abusive words, silence, a sideways glare or a punch, all which invade your personal space.
Change how you react.
If you can’t calmly speak up, walk away, don’t react with the same energy.
If you can talk, take a deep breath, speak strongly about your feelings using an ‘I’ statement e.g. ‘I feel hurt and upset when you …..’. Practise this often at home so you can confidently express your feelings and not react out of fear or anger.
It's time for you to change. You may find expressing your true feelings quite challenging if your pattern has been to hide them in order to keep the peace. Remember when we change what we do, it affects change in our immediate environment.
Work on your boundaries.
Know that the bully has the problem and perhaps it makes them feel better to act the way they do. Leave the problems with them.
Strengthen your boundaries. Practise daily to keep your personal space clear and strong. How?
Use your creative mind to imagine a protective dome around you that reflects any negativity away. When you are confronted by someone, see and feel in your mind’s eye this strong dome surrounding you. Feel your feet grounding you and remember to take a deep breath.
Check your posture, stand tall, breathe down to your toes and feel in control even if it doesn’t seem like this on the inside. Daily practice makes perfect and will become a habit within 21 days.
Clear your physical and energy body.
When you shower or bath, imagine any negativity from the day being washed away. Salt baths with added lavender oil or epsom salts are highly recommended to help relax the body after a stressful day.
If you don’t take a bath try a foot bath instead. Fill a small tub with warm to hot water infused with lemons, soak your feet for 20 mins. Relax and spend some quiet time away from TV or other distractions.
Look after yourself.
Exercising outdoors, eating nourishing food, drinking filtered water and getting adequate sleep will strengthen the physical body and your will power.
Binge drinking or eating might make you feel better but these distractions deplete vital nutrients from the body, weaken the will and contribute to other health and mental problems.
Seek professional support.
Talking to a friend or a work colleague about the situation is a good start. But in some cases where confidentiality is an issue, it is strongly advised to find a professional counsellor.
Holistic counsellors have been trained to use a variety of modalities to support and empower people to understand and heal the problems they are confronted with. I am a Holistic Counsellor and I would like to help you overcome any challenges you may be facing. Please call or email if I can be of assistance.